Finding Me

As time flies it's hard to look back, to remember what I was like before I was a mom.  I feel like it's a good & bad thing.  I know all my days pile together & make me who I am today.  For that I am grateful but I wanna never lose me.  As my babies get older it feels like it's getting a little easier. Small moments remind me, like driving alone in the car with my favorite jams louder than they should be, when my heart gets consumed with design & excitement fills my body, but motherhood is always there.  It's like a wonderful ray of sunshine that won't leave my side.

I don't know if that's a good thing or not, it's just how it feels.  I am a mother after all, that will never change.  Knowing that I am here writing this also tells me that I am aware, aware that I'm still here & that's a good thing.

I know I need more "me time," it's okay to share the duty.  To make me a better version of me, a less stressed version.  I can always tell such a huge difference, when I get to escape the duties.  Hey Marianne, work on that.  Like once a week, even if it's just a half hour on the porch.
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